Cast: Tradelove - A Change Broker, deceived by Freeman and the Colonel
Freeman - Involved in deception of Tradelove
Colonel - disguised as a Dutch trader
SCENE Jonathan's Coffee-House in Change-Alley. A Crowd of People with Rolls of Paper and Parchment in their Hands; a Bar, and Coffee-Boys waiting.
1st Stock. South-Sea at seven Eights; who buys?
2d Stock. South-Sea Bonds due at Michaelmas, 1718. Class Lottery-Tickets.
3d Stock. East-India Bonds?
4th Stock. What, all Sellers and no Buyers? Gentlmen, I'll buy a thousand Pound for Tuesday next, at three Fourths.
Coff. Boy. Fresh Coffee, Gentlemen, fresh Coffee?"
Trade. Hark ye, Gabriel, you'll pay the Difference of that Stock we transacted for t'other Day.
Gabr. Ay, Mr. Tradelove, here's a Note for the Money upon the Sword-Blade Company. [Gives him a Note.
Coff. Boy. Bohea-Tea, Gentlmen?
Man. Is Mr. Smuggle here?
1st Coff. Boy. Mr. Smuggle's not here, Sir, you'll find him at the Books.
2nd Stock. Ho! here come two Sparks from t'other End of the Town; what News bring they?
Trade. I would fain bite that Spark in the Brown Coat; he comes very often into
the Alley, but never employs a Broker.
2d Stock. Who does anything in the Civil-List Lottery? or Caco? Zounds, where are all the Jews this Afternoon? Are you a Bull or a Bear To-day, Abraham?
3d Stock. A Bull, Faith,---But I have a good Putt for next Week.
Trade. Mr. Freeman, your Servant! Who is that Gentleman?
Free. A Dutch Merchant, just come to England; but hark ye, Mr. Tradelove,---I have a Piece of News will get you as much as the French King's Death, if you are expeditious.
Trade. Say you so, Sir! Pray, what is it?
Free. (Shewing him a Letter.) Read there, I receiv'd it just now from one that belongs to the Emperor's Minister.
Trade. (Reads.) Sir, As I have many Obligations to you, I cannot miss any
Opportunity to shew my Gratitude; this Moment my Lord has received a private Express,
that the Spaniards have rais'd their Siege from before Cagliari; if this proves any
Advantage to you, it will answer both the Ends and Wishes of, Sir, Your most obliged humble
Servant,
Henricus Dusseldorp.
Postscript.
In two or three Hours the News will be publick.
May one depend upon this, Mr. Freeman? [Aside toFreeman.
Free. You may.---I never knew this Person send me a false Piece of News in my Life.
Trade.Sir, I am much oblig'd to you, 'Egad, 'tis rare News.---Who sells South- Sea for nesxt Week[?]
Stock Job. (All together.) I sell; I, I, I, I, I sell.
1st St[o]ck. I'll sell 5000l. for next Week, at five Eighths.
2d Stock. ---I'll sell ten thousand, at five Eighths, for the [s]ame Time.
Trade. Nay, nay, hold, hold, not altogether, Gentlemen, I'll be no Bull, I'll buy no more than I can take: Will you sell ten thousand Pounds at a Half, for any Day next Week, except Saturday?
1st Stock. I'll sell it to you, Mr. Tradelove.
Free. (Whispers to one of the Gentlemen.)
Gentle. (Aside.) The Spaniards rais'd the Siege of Cagliari! I don't believe one Word of it.
2d Gent. Rais'd the Siege; as much as you have rais'd the Monument.
Free. 'Tis rais'd I assure you, Sir.
2d Gent. What will you lay on't[?]
Free. What you please.
1st Gent. Why, I have a Brother upon the Spot, in the Emperor's Service; I am certain if there were any such Thing, I should have had a Letter.
2d Stock. How's this? The Siege of Cagliari rais'd?---I wish it may be true, 'twill make Business stir, and Stocks rise.
1st Stock. Tradelove's a cunning fat Bear; it this News proves true, I shall repent I sold him the ten thousand Pounds.---Pray, Sir, what Assurance have you that the Siege is rais'd?
Free. There is come an Express to the Emperor's Minister.
2d Stock. I'll know that presently. [Exit 1st Gent.
1st Gent. Let it come where it will, I'll hold you fifty Pounds 'tis false.
Free. 'Tis done.
2d Gent. I'll lay you a Brace of Hundreds upon the same.
Free. I'll take you.
4th Stock 'Egad, I'll hold twenty Pieces 'tis not rais'd, Sir.
Free. Done with you too.
Trade. I'll lay any Man a Brace of Thousands the Siege is rais'd.
Free. The Dutch Merchant is your Man to take in. [Aside to Tradelove.
Trade. Does not he know the News?
Free. Not a Syllable; if he did, he wou'd bet a Hundred thousand Pound as soon as one Penny;---he's plaguy rich, and a mighty Man at Wagers. [To Tradelove.
Trade. Say you so,---'Egad, I'll bite him, if possible;---Are you from Holland, Sir?
Col. Ya, Mynheer.
Trade. Had you the News before you came away?
Col. Wat believe you, Mynheer?
Trade. What do I believe? Why, I believe that the Spaniards have actually rais'd the Siege of Cagliari.
Col. What Duyvel's News is dat? 'Tis niet waer, Mynheer,---'tis no true, Sir.
Trade. 'Tis so true, Mynheer, that I'll lay you two thousand Pounds upon it.--- You are sure the Letter may be depended upon, Mr. Freeman?
Free. Do you think I would venture my Money, if I were not sure of the Truth of it? [Aside to Tradelove.
Col. Two duysend Pound, Mynheer, 'tis gadean--dis Gentleman sal hold de Gelt. [Gives Freeman Money.
Trade. With all my Heart--this binds the Wager.
Free. You have certainly lost, Mynheer, the Siege is rais'd indeed.
Col. Ik gelov't niet, Mynheer Freeman, ik sal ye dubbled houden, if you please.
Free. I am let into the Secret, therefore won't win your Money.
Trade. Ha, ha, ha! I have snapt the Dutchman, Faith, ha, ha, ha! this is no ill Day's Work,---pray, may I crave your Name Mynheer?
Col. Myn Naem, Mynheer! myn Name is Jan van Timtamtirelereletta Heer Fainwell.
Trade. Zounds, 'tis a damn'd long Name, I shall never remember it.--- Myn Heer van, Tim, Tim, Tim,---What the Devil is it?
Free. Oh! never heed, I know the Gentleman, and will pass my Word for twice the Sum.
Trade. That's enough.
Col. You'll hear of me sooner than you'll wish, old Gentlemen, I fancy. (Aside.) You'll come to Sackbut's Freeman. [Exit.
Free. Immediately. [Aside to the Colonel.
1st Man. Humphry Hump here?
2d Boy. Mr. Humphry Hump is not here; you'll find him upon the Dutch Walk.
Trade. Mr. Freeman I give you many Thanks for your Kindness.---
Free. I fear you'll repent when you know all. [Aside.
Trade. Will you dine with me?
Free. I'm engag'd at Sackbut's' adieu. [Exit.
Trade. Sir, your humble Servant. Now I'll see what I can do upon 'Change with my News. [Exit.
[End of 4.1]
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Last Updated: October 11, 1996 by David McNeil