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John Leon:
Clouds
I used to think she was a timid creature
clouding the mirror of her mind
with her own reflection. Little did I know
she was looking at the same person
I was, with no flaws to speak of.
Taking her hand for one bright moment
and stepping over the calm stream
the sun escaped her eyes.
In that blue sky I lost my feet
trying to walk on water.
Indeed. But don't ask who did what. Take them for what they are. Not grammatical errors, but shimmering shifts between subject and subject, subject and object, inner and outer perception.
Not easy to translate, you know. I even had to resort to several Dickinsonian dashes. Like the narrator - but unlike the poet - I had difficulty walking on water.
I needed a guideline. The prosodial carrier wave. Yes, I know, free verse is de rigeur nowadays. But I happen to be old-fashioned. And so I hope the reader - as well as the poet - will forgive me for using rhymed pentameters. Easy does it, I thought, and there is always the original, which is the only important one, anyway...
Which English I translated into German? The poet's English, of course. But, you know, the clouds kept coming and the light kept shifting - and who is to say what is a physical, what a translational, what a sensory, what a mental reflection? Got to reflect on that sometimes...
After John Leon's "Clouds":
Ambiguous Passage
I used to think she was a timid creature
that would becloud the mirror of her mind
with her own sight. I never saw her feature
of seeing persons of the selfsame kind
as I - with only minor flaws to find.
Her hand beheld - enclosed for moments bright
the movement - cross the clouds and calm of stream -
the sun escaped her eyes in shining flight.
Through that blue sky I failed to walk the seam
of water flowing through my sight unseen.
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John Leon:
Clouds
I used to think she was a timid creature
Clouding the mirror of her mind
With her own reflection. Little did I know
She was looking at the same person
I was, with no flaws to speak of.
Taking her hand for one bright moment
And stepping over the calm stream
The sun escaped her eyes.
In that blue sky I lost my feet
Trying to walk on water.
Indeed. But don't ask who did what. Take them for what they are. Not grammatical errors, but shimmering shifts between subject and subject, subject and object, inner and outer perception.
Not easy to translate, you know. I even had to resort to several Dickinsonian dashes. Like the narrator - but unlike the poet - I had difficulty walking on water.
I needed a guideline. The prosodial carrier wave. Yes, I know, free verse is de rigeur nowadays. But I happen to be old-fashioned. And so I hope the reader - as well as the poet - will forgive me for using rhymed pentameters. Easy does it, I thought, and there is always the original, which is the only important one, anyway...
Which English I translated into German? The poet's English, of course. But, you know, the clouds kept coming and the light kept shifting - and who is to say what is a physical, what a translational, what a sensory, what a mental reflection? Got to reflect on that sometimes...
Nach John Leons "Wolken":
Doppelsinniges Übersetzen
Ich dachte damals, daß sie furchtsam war
und mit dem eignem Spiegelbilde trübt
der Seele Spiegel. Nicht doch war mir klar,
daß sie dem gleichen Mensch Gestaltung gibt
wie ich - und das beinah der Fehler bar.
Für einen lichten Augenblick - die Hand
geführt in Schritten - über Wellen weilt -
der Augen Sonne aus der Wolkenwand.
Durch dieses Himmels Blau mein Fuß zerteilt
das Wasser - drauf zu gehn ich nicht verstand...
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